2012 School Term begins…

“Facing challenges managing boys’ school schedule & tuition sessions! Where to find play time?”

In respond to my “grouse”, a treasured friend gave me a reality check and shared some wisdom…

“This is Reality of Singapore. They have to manage and learn to destress while juggling all. After PSLE is transition to secondary school issues. Never does it stop. Keep weekends light. Keep family time fun and exciting for them to look for…ward too. Its like a pit stop in and F1 race. Make school breaks count. Minimal studying on weekends and holidays. In Sec the key is to find an CCA that he will enjoy. His dad really enjoyed Scouting. …. So get them to learn to enjoy what they do. Help them cultivate good friends, they make “hardship” bearable. Parents listen to their stress stories, but don’t give them solutions, guide them to find their own way. Giving them advice and telling them what to do adds stress. Encourage them in their successes. Encourage leadership development, that will give them purpose, diminishing the pain of stressors.”

In this society, it is so easy to ‘fall-in’ and follow the crowd.  And so hard to “pull-back” .

Listening & guiding them in making their own decisions are skills which need to be honed!! And HB & I are still working hard on these!!

CHRISTmas 2011

This Christmas has been totally different from what we have been used to.  Not only did we not do the usual rush, neither did we spent it with our usual family members.  We miss our dear ones who have gone before us in 2011.  But it is by far the best gathering my HB & I have had.

It was a coming together of a family of Christ… And just like a normal family, we had laughed at each other (and hold no ill); fought – had disagreements but there’s always a brother/sister to sort us out & then it’s ok again; cried together; prayed & supported each other - whenever there was a need; through this year.  And just like any family, some siblings are closer to each other, while we try to engage the rest.

What’s so special about this family?  We are not brothers & sisters, grandma nor grandkids by bloodline, but through Christ, who has brought us together.  In this family, we can be ourselves, we are accepted for who we are – no need for masks, no need for pretence.  For HB & I, this family is closer to our hearts than our own blood siblings.  The support & love that has flowed unconditionally had often left HB & I speechless.

So, what was so special about this Christmas gathering?    It wasn’t just socialising over good food; nor empty small talks; nor trying to humour another by just being there.  It was a sharing of hearts… Nic had earlier mentioned that it might be good for the choir members after us know how we ended in the choir and how it has grown, etc.  And so Nic started the ball-rolling.  What happened after that was the work of Jesus.  In the 6 years, we have been in the choir, we have never had a sharing in such a group.  But as the sharings continued round the room, I got a better picture of how Christ had brought us together… to be companions on this journey on earth.  The sharings were deep & heart tugging and with such openess.  We learnt more about each other, and more importantly we thank all for sharing and allowing us to be part of their lives.

This Ministry is no longer one which we would do our duty & be gone, like when it was when HB & I started.  I always believed that being in a Ministry should have it’s privileges.  One which is not only able to support each other in prayers; but to reach out to others, let them know that “hey, we are here for you.  You are not alone on this journey.”  When a person feels a sense of belonging, it is more likely for them to stay.  LOL! Well, that was my ‘motive’ then.  We were in need for more members

In reflection, I’ve just come to realise, and TOTALLY humbled, that God would have listened - had answered – and has made this believe into a reality.  It has taken 6 years to come to fruition!! :D

A beautiful CHRISTmas indeed.  And I thank you Lord.  I definitely will never be able to outdo your generosity.  Grant me the graces to keep humble and allow me to continue to serve You in the way that You want.

Matthew 5:14-16

Ye are the light of the world.  A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it gives light unto all that are in the house.  Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father, which is in heaven.

Saying Goodbye…

2011 Jan 25

My elder brother had finally lost his fight… due to a stroke.

He was diagnosed with renal failure almost 11 years ago.  Ever since then, it was dialysis 3 times a week, 4hrs each session.  A good dialysis session would leave him at the very least just tired, but fever, hypertension, giddiness, infection, is part and parcel of a renal patient’s life.  When an infection sets in, it will be painful hospital stays as vials of blood samples need to be taken for tests and the fever, sometimes … seems endless.  He hated to be poked and would INSIST on Nurses who frequently take blood do the job on him.  Yes, he knew his medical condition inside out and was not an easy patient nor the kindest to Registrars who didn’t know their stuff before talking to him.  He chided them for not reading his case notes before asking him “stupid” questions.  Because of his frequent medical appointments, he shared with us that we MUST ask the RIGHT QUESTIONS to get the right answers.  And thus, the patient MUST be knowledgeable about their condition.

Each time he’s admitted into the hospital, he’ll tell us no need to visit him as we are all busy with our own lives and family.  But we all try to be there for him.  This time round, it was going to be the final time we would see him in the hospital.  There’ll be no more hospital visits for him.

He had a stroke on 24 Jan morning and the prognosis was grave.  The Neurosurgeons, from CGH, Institute of Neurosurgeon (?) and TTSH, did not recommend surgery.  It was so tough to make a decision of DNR (Do Not Resusitate), as given his condition, any assistance given would only serve to prolong his suffering. But after consultations with family members, his wife & I had to consent to DNR.  It was heartbreaking, to deliver that decision to the doctor.  Up till today, although I know it was the best decision for him, I still question myself…

He was able to respond with hand squeeze, when I asked him questions on 24 Jan. He had big reactions when he heard my voice in the A&E. My entire family stayed by his bedside during the day and he had many friends & colleagues visiting him.  When the Nurses asked him to cough, so that they could clear his lungs, he did his best.  He could hear and was responding.

I knew he was fighting to keep alive.  Everyone of us were telling him it’s ok to let go.  I know my fighter Kor, he’d wanted to know why wasn’t anything being done? etc.  So, on Tuesday afternoon, I had to steal myself to quietly let him know that we were doing all we could for him, that I’ve asked the doctors to make him as comfortable as possible.  And when he’s ready, we are ready, to let go. There are 4 of us siblings – my Kor was most willing to listen to what I had to say.  It broke me to pieces to have to tell him that “we were doing all we could” but I owed it to him as I wanted him to let go in peace.

My Kor is a private person and a person of pride.  It wasn’t easy to know him, and I must say I don’t know him thoroughly through.  In fact, he’s quite a typical chinese tok-tok man.  All pride, cannot show weakness.  A year ago, I learnt of his warped understanding of the meaning of love & family.  According to him, being a family means never a need to say thank you.  I was totally thrown off.  In my family, ”I love You” was never uttered amongst siblings nor family members.  All I know is that I loved him much and I had the privilege of saying that to my Kor, the privilege of stroking his cheek when he was ill in the last year, plant a kiss on his forehead, give him hugs… all that in the last year.  And in return, he said “Thank you and I love you too” in a sms which to me a precious treasure and I keep many copies of it

I thank God for the last year.  I thank God for releasing my Kor from his bondage of illness and his situation.  I thank God for allowing me an opportunity to thank my Kor for being the brother that he was.  Not all a bed of roses, but well, I remember and will always recall the better times together, climbing trees, he being chased by me with a feather duster or the broom… until he tripped and chipped his front tooth (now to think of it, he never ever was bitter with me), those times when the electricity tripped during thunderstorms and burglers were just outside prying on the windows, how we caught guppies from the longkangs, when we pulled up a patch of grass in the garden only to reveal baby moles, when I tagged along on his performances during Art Fest… and many more.

It was so difficult, when the moment he took his last breath…it was finality.  I was heartbroken, but I had to keep strong for my parent & other members of the family.

Kor -I still miss you so much..  Only time will heal and I pray to God for strength to move on. Thank you for being my Kor. I’m so glad I told you in person before you left.  Rest in peace my beloved Kor.

The Heart of the Family – 17 Feb

You cannot take the total responsibility for the outcome of your children; for they do have a free will, and some are determined to exercise it. - Turn Your Heart Toward Home (Film)

“Depend on the Lord; trust him, and he will take care of you” (Psalm  37:5)

I truly believe that we can teach our children the best possible values when they are young.  And trust & pray that we have done enough to guide them that will help them in their later years.  However, once they are able to stand independently, we pray that we can gracefully step aside to allow them to make their own decisions and be a “safety net” for them should they make a wrong decision.  But ultimately, the children are responsible for the decision they make and what they make their lives out to be.

It is tough for both parents, and children, when the parents can’t take this step.  I’ve come across parents who were constantly making decisions for their children, even into their children’s adulthood, and when things don’t turn out right, they blame themselves to their graves.  And, the children - who never got the chance to learn to make good decisions and how to handle bad decisions – will find it tough to bounce back when life is down.

Parents should do the best we can, then let go… and let God!

We’ll Be Faithful

2011 Jan 19

A few days ago, I had the blessing of being reminded of how blessed I have been to have had the opportunity to some grounded formation some 18 years ago. The “training” then while in Ministry, under a caring Shepherd, have kept me grounded in my believe and the wisdom to discern and not get thrown off-track by the persecution that will come my way while doing God’s work.  Doing God’s stuff is definitely not a bed of roses… but if we set our hearts on the prize and keep faithful… we can look forward to the day when we arrive at the doorstep of the Kingdom of God with our heads held high

Keep faithful to God, to His truth and His promises…

Serving God – 2nd Sun, Yr A – Ps 39 – Cantored by Tim

Responsorial Psalm 39

R: Here I am, Lord! I come to do your will.

1.I waited, I waited for the Lord
and he stooped down to me;
he heard my cry.
He put a new song into my
mouth, praise of our God.

2.You do not ask for sacrifice and offerings,
but an open ear.
You do not ask for holocaust and victim.
Instead, here am I.

3. In the scroll of the book it stands written
that I should do your will.
My God, I delight in your law
in the depth of my heart.

3. Your justice I have proclaimed
in the great assembly.
My lips I have not sealed;
You know it, O Lord

Serving God – Cantoring by Ben

Ben is our very gifted Pianist.  He’s been composing tailored Psalm tunes for each and every one of our Cantors every week.  His heavy schedule during a major exam in 2010 didn’t stop him from serving the Lord.  He has an uncanny way of interpreting the Psalms.  A perfectionist he is.

In this Ps, he composed and recorded the Psalms.  He completed the “3-in-1″, when we played his recording and he Cantored for the first time from the ambo.

When asked, he shared…”Experience was wonderful, felt like it wasn’t in my control anymore, more of surrendering to God.”

Yes, indeed!!  It is a surrendering to God.  He is the One who is in control.  We are but his instruments.  Indeed, over the years I’ve been with St Cecilia’s choir, I’m glad to have been part of Ben growth and to watch him grow steadier in the Lord

Jesus be with you always Ben.

Cantoring – Ps 97 by Tim on 13 Nov 2010

Tim has cantored a couple of times by now.  This is Ps 97.

He came down with a sore throat the day before.  That morning he didn’t think he could do it but I asked him to try.  He did… and said,”I think I can.”   So, he rested a lot in the afternoon.  He felt slightly warm just before Mass started.  HB and I prayed over him… told him to do his best and let the Holy Spirit lead.  He held his notes and straight after cantoring, he temperature had rised and he slept.  This is Tim’s Thanksgiving for his unexpected good  results.  We are proud that he persevered with Cantoring

 

Response: The Lord comes to rule the peoples with fairness. 

V1 Sing psalms to the Lord with the harp
     with the sound of music.
      With trumpets and the sound of the horn
     acclaim the King, the Lord.

V2  Let the sea and all within it, thunder;
      the world, and all its peoples.
      Let the rivers clap their hands
     and the hills ring out their joy at the presence of the Lord.

V3 For the Lord comes,
     he comes to rule the earth.
     He will rule the world with justice
     and the peoples with fairness



Joshua’s 1st Holy Communion

Joshua received his 1st Holy Communion on 5 Sep 2010.  Just like his elder brother last year, he too woke up “Super” early that morning.

As we were getting ready, it started to rain.  When we were ready, it was still raining…so we decided to catch a cab to Church.  Whilst keeping an eye out for a cab, we walked towards Church… Murphy’s Law kicked-in, none came by.  As we walked past the LRT station, Josh commented in a rather dismal & sad voice,”It’s not fair.  It was all sunny last year at KorKor’s 1st Holy Communion.  Why mine, it must rain? Then, I’m all wet.”   I replied,”It’s okay Josh, it’s showers of blessing.  That’s good too, right?”  With that he was consoled and tried his best to avoid the water puddles. :)

We accompanied him up to the assembly hall and then headed into Church to get choice seats.  We were blessed this year too to be able to get seats on the 2nd Pew. 

Receiving 1st Holy Communion from Fr Ambrose Vaz

All throughout Mass, I noticed him chatting happily with his friend.  An obvious sign of excitement but not to the amusement of his cathecist.

This year we had a clear view of Josh receiving his 1st Holy Communion from Rev. Fr Ambrose Vaz.  Finally, all members of our little family were receiving Jesus!

Josh with Godparents – Damien & Jen

 

 

 

Josh was exceptionally happy that at the final turn of events, his Godparents – Damien & Jen were able to join us at this happy occasion.

Receiving the 1st Holy Communion Certificate from Fr James

After Mass, we proceeded to St Joachim’s Hall, where Joshua received his 1st Holy Communion Certificate from Fr James Yeo.  Good thing Fr James obliged by turning towards me as there were too many excited parents in front of me for me to get any nearer to them.

 My Lil Altar Boy can now finally receive Holy Communion especially when he serves Mass.  I really wonder what it feels like….  I guess, I’ll never know because one thing’s for sure, I can never be an Altar Server :p

About Loving

“I will consider my earthly existence to have been wasted unless I can recall a loving family, a consistent investment in the lives of people, and an earnest attemp to serve the God who made me.”- What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women, P.10

In the past couple of weeks, quite a number of people of significance had either gone home to Jesus or passed on and it has been a bigtime reminder to me of the fragility of our lives and how we should cherish our loved ones.  It also reinforced my believe that we should always strive to make peace with our loved one whilst they are here on earth, rather than weep in regret when they are gone.

First there was Liam, a 3year-old  who had gone home to our Lord after battling cancer for a while.  I don’t know Liam personally but had been praying for him.  In his last hours, when asked to take some morphine to ease his pain, he refused and asked his mummy to just pray.  How can a 3year old comprehend the fullness of what prayers means??  The innocence of a child really deserves a special place in Jesus’ bosom.

Secondly, there’s the dad of a friend of many years ago.  Uncle Wong, returned to Jesus too after having to carry the cross of medical issues.  I remember him well as a loving father.  Many years ago, the Choice group of friends formed a carolling group.  We carolled from house to house of the Choicer’s family.  In the midst of travelling, my friend (who had driven his Dad’s car) met an accident.  He called his Dad.  Instead of a scolding as one would expect, his Dad asked if he was alright.  I was awed by that love.  I had never come across such a loving experience.  Since then, I’ve tried to emulate Uncle Wong.  He had shown me the real meaning of love - a life is much more important than any monetary objects/possessions.  Thank you Uncle Wong for a priceless lesson.

Then, there were the passing of Dr Balaji & Mrs Lee Kuan Yew.

Dr Balaji had given till he passed on.  The fruits of his selflessness were enjoyed by many.

The tender love between Mr & Mrs Lee is probably the most admired.  One would probably never could have envisaged such a strong loving marriage existed amongst the busy politicians.  But yet, Mr & Mrs Lee Kuan Yew had shown us that they are but human and that it is possible.

“Man is lonely by birth

Man is only a pilgrim on earth

Born to be king

Time is but a temporary thing

Only a loan while on earth

 

Man is longing for One

For a song and a place in the sun

A home up above

Where every day is lived in love

For rest when the journey is done

- Pilgrim Song”

We really are but Pilgrims on Earth.  So, love like you’ve never loved before!! He did!